I must admit, I don’t like Christmas music.

Call me Ebenezer, or the Grinch, but it’s been a long time since I’ve had “Christmas spirit.”

So whereas most top-10 Christmas music lists would feature songs of joy, cheer and spirituality, mine will feature very little of that.

Instead, it will feature humor, cynicism and a lot of "bah-humbugs."

So here are my top-10 Christmas songs, in no particular order.

Luke: “I Won’t Be Home for Christmas” by blink-182. Nothing says Christmas like a pop punk anthem about chasing after Christmas carolers and ending up in jail for the holidays. This tune is mostly sophomoric, but the end of the song has a very relatable hook in which Mark Hoppus repeatedly sings, “I won’t be home, I won’t be home for Christmas” over pop punk guitars and drums. This is one of my favorites, and though I won’t be chasing carolers down the street any time soon (hopefully!), I can relate to the lack of joy felt around Christmas.

“Oi to the World” by No Doubt. I’m going pop punk again, this time with No Doubt’s take on “Joy to the World.” The song is an ode to Oi punks and Christmas all in one. It’s a lot more cheerful than the first song on my list, but it’s still just the right amount of not Christmas-y for me.

“I Wish It Was Christmas Today” by Horatio Sanz. This song was written for a Christmas episode of “Saturday Night Live” and features Horatio Sanz as vocalist and guitarist, Jimmy Fallon playing the keyboard while Chris Kattan holds the instrument up and Tracy Morgan “dances.” The song has been performed twice on the SNL, and was covered by Julian Casablancas of The Strokes. It’s a good mix of comedy and sentimentality. I don’t go with cheery Christmas songs often, but when I do, it’s usually songs like this.

“Merry Christmas (I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight)” by The Ramones. You might notice a theme right about now with the songs on my list. Another pop punk gem, this Ramones song is less about the joys of Christmas and more about salvaging a relationship. Call me a cynic, but I think that feels a little more realistic.

“You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch” by The Misfits. As a self-proclaimed Grinch, I couldn’t make a list of Christmas songs without one about the famed green monster. So, I’ll go with The Misfits’ version because I can’t think of any other band that screams Christmas like The Misfits. Also, I’d kill to see Glenn Danzig dressed as Santa Claus.

“The Snow Miser Song/Heat Miser Song” by 45 Grave. Like the Misfits, 45 Grave is associated with horror more than Christmas. In fact, the Los Angeles-band was featured on the “The Return of the Living Dead” soundtrack. So, naturally, the band is on my list with its version of “The Snow Miser/Heat Miser Song” from the classic claymation movie “The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t.” Though I hate the cold, I’m a big fan of Heat Miser. A warm Christmas is cool with me ("Bah humbug!")

“Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer” by DMX. When I first heard the rapper’s version of this song, sung in DMX’s raspy voice, I finally knew what pure joy was. It’s not that DMX can sing — he can’t. It’s just that he tries so hard to deliver on this classic tune. If this doesn’t get you ready to “Party Up” for Christmas, nothing will.

“Frosty the Snowman” from the classic TV movie. I threw you for a curveball here, didn’t I? This is one of the classic, “cheery” Christmas songs I’ll admit to liking. But, I’ll ask this: Is it really a Christmas song? Do you know how many times Christmas or the holidays are mentioned in the song? Not once. The song is simply about a jolly snowman who came to life and brought some kids some joy. I’m cool with that.

“Blue Christmas” by Elvis Presley. OK, OK, I’m going to get a little sentimental here. It’s hard to have a top-10 Christmas songs list without The King of Rock and Roll. “Blue Christmas” is one of my favorite Christmas songs. It’s sappy and romantic and Elvis is awesome. Don’t judge me.

“Walking in a Winter Wonderland” by Nat King Cole. OK, I’m a big softie. You caught me. But seriously, how can you not include Nat King Cole on this list? His voice, with this melody is near perfect for Christmas. I’ll use the same defense here as I did with ‘Frosty” — it isn’t necessarily a Christmas song. It is, however, a great version of this song.

Jon: Bah humbug, Luke. You sure know how to make an old-timer feel like the Ghost of Christmas Past, Out of Touch and Un-hip.

Here I was expecting "Little Drummer Boy" or maybe "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" and you hit me with a locked-up gansta rapper, power poppers and bands more inclined to the dark lord than the one born on Dec. 25.

Truly showing my age and lack of street cred, the only songs I immediately recognized were the obvious: the Elvis, Nat King Cole and "Frosty" numbers. And those are fine choices, no doubt. Classics, even.

As is the bouncy staple “Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

Just not as delivered by the same man who once barked, “I bring down rains so heavy, it hurts the head; no more talking, put him in the dirt instead.”

Baby, it’s @#$%&* cold outside, indeed.

For those as unenlightened as me, both 45 Grave and the Misfits have, at least on first glance, as much in common with Christmas-themed music as I do the Royal Opera House of London. Fittingly, these fathers of fear and foreboding selected the two most negative songs associated with the season.

The result? Darkly engaging, I have to admit.

As for “Oi! to the World,” I much prefer The Vandals’ original, which is more joyfully grimy than No Doubt’s more polished, ska-flavored version. But it in either incarnation, it’s a fun twist on the staple it jovially mimics.

Regarding Luke’s remaining three selections — all unknown to me prior to this exchange of musical opinion — the blink 182 and Ramones offerings proved to be welcome revelations. Anthemic, melodic and instantly memorable, even if their connection to Christmas extends only to the title.

I cannot, however, say the same for that Horatio Sanz dreck, surpassed in its grating irritability only by “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” and “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late.”)

llyons@chieftain.com; jpompia@chieftain.com